“I Did, But Now I Dont!” Why Couples Divorce

Marriage: “The process by which two people who love each other make their relationship public, official, and permanent. It is the joining of two people in a bond that putatively lasts until death, but in practice is increasingly cut short by divorce.” -Psychology Today

The statistics state that 50% of marriages end in divorce. Statistics also states the number is slowly climbing. That’s truly a sad statistic. In simple terms… more half of all the weddings you attend, the happy couples will end their marriages in divorce, eventually. What happened to the days where couples marry and stay together for 50 and 60 years? Those days are apparently over. Most of this generation will never make it to a Silver anniversary (25 years of marriage), let alone a Golden anniversary (50 years of marriage). I don’t know about you, but that is alarming and depressing to me. Marriage is a beautiful union, or at least it should be.

When couples are happy and planning for a wedding, they often forget about planning for a marriage. Everything is great and there is no rain or thunder storms in sight. The sun is shining. They are picking out colors, locations, rings etc. No one is thinking about divorce, everything is peachy cream. The love is in the air and couples are waiting for that one day to announce to the world that, “Weees married na!!!” ~(Color Purple) No one is truly prepared to deal with the rough patches, scrapes and bruises when things are not so happy.

Why do couples divorce is the million dollar question? We are in the day and age where celebrities are role models. Everyone knows they are the last to be role models in the name of marriage. They interchange people and vows like it’s an olympic sport. Celebrity Couples are not role models and most of their marriages don’t last. They help make up the astounding divorce rate. However, there are very few marriages that last in Hollywood. The first marriage that comes to mind other than President Obama and his stunning First Lady, is the marriage Actress Holly Robinson-Peete and (Former NFL legend) Rodney Peete. They have been married almost 18 years. That is outstanding and beautiful! As, I heard Holly Robinson-Peete state in an interview that it wasn’t always easy, but they are doing it! That’s an honest and real answer. I believe the divorce rate is so high because couples take an easy out because they can. A lot of couples feel, I can get a divorce if I’d had enough. In my opinion, divorce should be the last option after you’ve exhausted all other possibilities.

This is a lengthy topic and the conversation about marriage and divorce could last forever. This article could go on forever with all the reasons couples divorce, but there are several common reasons why couples get divorce.
Here are the top reasons:

Infidelity/Trust (This is even a bigger issue, now that social media is involved)
Finances
Emotional Disconnect
Communication
Abuse (all types)
Lack of Love or Respect
Traumatic incidents (loss of a child,parent,illness etc.)

Marrying the wrong person is also an issue in some marriages. Sometimes couples marry for the wrong reasons and they were never meant to marry. It was over before it started. I’m sure there are many more reasons that could go on this list. This article is not to scare all the marriage hopefuls or the happily married couples. Hopefully it will help couples stay married or reconsider divorce. Marriage is a wonderful and amazing union. It should be respected and cherished. No one gets married to get divorced, at least I hope not. I know a little on this subject. I am a divorced and I now understand marriage and I understand divorce. No one that is married looks forward to divorce. If they said they did or are they are probably telling you a tall tale. Who gets married and says, “I can’t wait until my divorce day?” That’s not a goal most people set.

Marriage takes work, a lot of work and both people must be willing to get down and dirty and do the work by all means necessary. I have couples in my family that have been married 60+ years, which is an incredible feat. My mother asked one of my Aunts on she and my Uncle’s 60 something wedding anniversary, what was the secret to such a long marriage. My Aunt simply said, “We really love each other.” There you have it!!! It was just that simple. The love has to be real! Enough said!

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5 responses to ““I Did, But Now I Dont!” Why Couples Divorce

  1. Pingback: Robert JR Graham » Considerations Before Marriage·

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